Monday, March 24, 2008
(12:35:59 PM) GJake: what ever
(12:36:05 PM) GJake: I also said I hate spelling
(12:36:30 PM) Dobber: yes and then proved your point
(12:36:37 PM) Dobber: you should add grammar in
Hey Dobber... Happy?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Ok no more sap back to bitterness
Friday, December 14, 2007
There are a million and one dating sites for people on what to do. If you are a looking for that, go to one of them. I am going to handle dating in a very talmudic fashion. What does that mean you ask? It goes like this the talmud gives people the opportunity to interpert a story and take from it the meaning as they so choose. No, the bible has no basis for the stories I will share, but they are based on stories my friends have shared with me. If you told me a story and I repeated it here and you dont like it I would appologize. But I wont arrogance takes over.
The first story is from my friend for the sake of annonmity lets call her Brie. So Brie goes on date after date. She is really a stunning girl. Super confident, very pretty, just a little lets say she doesnt take shit from no one. She has one flaw but she is well aware of it and thrives on it. So Brie goes on blind date after blind date because her friends and family love to make her miserable by setting her up with dudes that are dull as dirt. So she goes on a date with this guy, I believe a family set up. They go to a bar. She (as usual) has a soda, she is not a big drinker. He has scotch. After the first round, he says "why dont you have a glass of wine?" She responds no thanks, soda is fine. The date continues he with his Scotch, her with a soda. After the Third drink he says "are you sure you dont want a drink?" now it is important to note that all this time they are talking and he is making fun of her for not drinking, to which she responds, "why do you think if I drink more you will look better" THAT my friends is what we call snarkey. Never-the-less, the date was not going well, so they were both going to the OSF-UWS, a neighborhood in NYC. Thy shared a cab, he lived on say 65th street, she on the otherhand lived at say 95th street. When he got out of the cab, he asked her if she wanted to come upstaris for a drink. (Remember she hadn't been drinking all night he had) To which she responded "do you really think I am gonna sleep with you after you made fun of me all night for not drining?" Then he THREW that is right THREW 20 dollars her for the cab ride back to her place had a hissy fit and went home. YIKES!
What did he do wrong? Post me comments!!
Friday, November 9, 2007
So who or what exactly is the Great Everlasting Know-it-all (TGELKIA)? A buddy of mine, let's call him A, once said if you created a reality show of me and my friends and took out movie quotes there would be nothing left but dead silence. So... if you ever saw spaceballs the movie (not the toilet paper or the flame thrower) you are already halfway there. I just spiced it up a notch and added my own little flare.
But still what is TGELKIA? Think of a giant fish, add a turtle shell, and an aligator tail but the face of a platapus. Tgelkia is just the opposite. Wow now I have a headache. So I am gonna take this time to go on and on and on about one of my pet peeves. STUPIDITY. It is sorta themeatic right?
So I am listening to the radio today, talk radio (sorta), they are having a quiz show. One of those shows where you ask people dumb questions and if they get it wrong they look foolish. I didn't hear the entire thing but here are the questions I heard:
1.) What is the planet closest to the sun?
2.) What is the capital of Italy?
3.) How many planets are there (including Pluto)?
If you dont know the anwser to all of them go back to high school.
Ok Moving on.
As you read on please remember a few things.
1.) I have piss poor spelling skills. At work it is a bummer. I have to read and reread things a million times to make sure they are right. It sucks. This blog is personal and I look at spelling as if it were an art form. I tell my hands to move in a general direction. If Qwerty didnt put the keys in the right spot, not my problem. You dont get the words I use also not my problem. Is this arrogant of me sure it is but this is my world and if you dont like it dont read it.
2.) Normalcy, I have said before and I will say it again. I set the standard for normalcy. If one were to ask me what normal was, I would say that I am normal and the rest of you are fucked in the head. Don't follow? Try this one: The old joke "have you ever noticed how people going faster then you on the highway are maniacs and the people going slower then you are morons?" Same concept. I have set the standard for normal. If you are more excentric then I am, then you are the equilivent to a mananic (that is ok) if you are more vanila then I am you are the same thing as a the moron (and that is ok too). The great thing about this way of thinking, is that it works for everyone. Everyone is their own set of normalcy.
3.) My book. So I have thought about writing a book with a good friend of mine for a while but it hasn't come together. The book is supposed to be about dataing and the male, female disaster. I am collecting stories of dating horrors. Please share, your identity is safe with me.
4.) Finally, I will probably post 2-3 times a quater, for those of you not in the working world that is 2-3 times every 4 months.
This doensn't count as a post. This is an Intro and a thanks to Kim. And for her and JUST for her "Go Sox"